Yaya! I got my OLD id bak!  I'm soo excited... Kinda long break from xanga... but yaya!

Love Love Tigers! Let me just remember all the ways I was able to keep up xanga. I completely forgot about the custom modules and so on and so forth! But I am loving it

I offically moved to Poland. Working on my Doctor Degree.. People here are awesome!! Funky but Awesome! I am loving every second of it, except when I am left alone in my past.. which rarely happens because either Reena, Rency, Susan, Roma, Christi, Rex, Simiran, Surbhi..oh who am i kidding.. none of us really leave each other alone until we hit the hay stack! It's awesome here...

Yes Ladies, Jagan did it again. I don't know why I keep taking him back. I..grr.. thats it! I am done. I think ... Gosh just for once I wish Jagan would make up his mind rather playing this game he plays. Does he love me? and if he did then why does he leave me like a billion times?! 3rd time! this the 3rd time he left me and for what? NO CLUE! grr! 1st time he left, he pretended he didn't know me anymore, he wouldn't tell me why he left me.. later he tells me, "oh because your uncle said that your family is big people and your family deserves at same status level" wha? is he BaNaNaZ! he talked to my dad about me. TALKED TO MY DAD. My dad is completely okay with the idea and grr.. he thinks I am loving his money or something! it's STUPID... He pretended he didn't know me and left me for a whole 10 months and then he comes bak and the 2nd time he left. he left because he said "oh you are going to be Big doctor, and i'll be a small time worker, you deserve a doctor. A doctor should marry doctor" I just wanted to kill him.. and I said it again. I didn't say yes to his proposal because of his STATUS! and he comes bak and says okay fine! and NOW NOW!?!?! What is wrong with this child...Grr I think I am working way too hard in this relationship and he just chilling! It's not cool! for once.. just for once.. I want him to see that I didn't love him because of his status or money...but i loved him for him. I don't know.. I don't know if I could trust him like the same anymore... this is not the first and this is not the second. I am just... I give up! I liked myself when I said relationshipss SUCK

But blasted..you know when you get that tiny taste of goodness in something.. you just crave for more 'cuz it was just perfect? that's how I feel... I feel like I need to find something to replace him and the more I try the more I get hurt! why can't I just chill? Just Chill! go back to the goofy shy relationship hating child I was? where I stayed away from men? is it too late to change? ahh blahh

Classes are driving me bananaz! I mean .. everything is crazy for me.. I study.. I study and I study! but then these professors are like talkin alien language to me... I mean.. I understand bits and parts when they pause to think of the next word they want to say. I love people, but this is just too freaking weird. ahh I guess I just have to get used to it.

My baby's memorial day is comming up.. My only regret is that I didn't get to tell him exactly how I felt. I was being an ass.. I am going to from now on always say what is on my mind abt that person .... before I say goodbye... that way I don't leave anything unfinished 

And parents are going bananaz... I don't think I need to expand on that.... If there is a fight in the family. . . deep down.. it has my name printed on it. My parents won't fight without including my name in their fights. Thanks mom and dad! add on the pressure

and as for me... I am still wanting to die! Nothing works out for me.. I am still the same old me... with a different haircut and a louder voice and a crazier habbit of drinking and smoking.. I wanna find an alternitive.. I can't be depressed! blahh blahh blaahh.. thats all I can say.. blahh blahh blahh.. dun wanna think any more... I just wanna end it all! so much easier!